The Tragedy of Domestic Violence....

I have refrained from writing anything about this because we do not know all of the facts, so I am going to post my response from Sister Toldja's post Thursday. I don't get into the CB and Rihanna rumors, because I don't do gossip. But you can read what I said below....

I agree that society does girls a disservice by teaching them that they are frail and weak, and at the same time, not condemning their violent actions against men. However, from everything I've witnessed in life, the black community accepts and ignores both male to female and female to male abuse. And the male to female abuse is accepted more, usually b/c people believe the woman must have done something to provoke the man.

I know too many women who have been sexually and physically abused by men, only to have the black community to say, "what did she do?" or "she shouldn't have said or done or worn or looked at him like that. There is almost an automatic assumption that the alleged victim must have done something, and in the case of rape, if she didn't fight him (because she couldn't) she must have wanted it. I know men who are friends with guys raped women using the date rape drug as the tool of choice, and still consider these men friends/acquaintances. I know women who have been raped, sexually abused, or physically abused by family members, boyfriends, and friends, and they refrain from reporting the crimes to the police or telling family members fearing that no one would believe them or would accuse them of doing something wrong. I think the community response and seemingly acceptance of R. Kelly is more in line with the true sentiment of the black community toward male-female abuse in general.

The problem with this case is that Chrihanna are celebrities, and people in the media are looking at this case thru the lens of celebrity. Rihanna is a pop princess, and certain media outlets are going to take her side over CB's without knowing all of the facts. However, from what I've seen and heard from comments on various blogs, the automatic assumption is to suggest there must be something else going on...why did he do it...what did she do. Unfortunately, none of us know all of the facts about this particular case, so we can't assume provocation on her part anymore than we can assume he is just an asshole who likes to beat women. Only time will tell the truth in this story, and even then, only Chrihanna will ever know what really happened.

So, somewhere in that long comment, I partially agree with you. I agree that they both need therapy...they probably needed it before, but they will definitely need it now. All in all, great post and I really enjoyed reading your analysis.